While other coffee shops usually abide by the simple rule of welcoming you in filipino-english as Sir/Madam and then taking your order… The atheists at Starbucks (conspiring to complicate life) always attempt to shift you another ungodly creation of crap.

Me: Hi, I would like an espresso.
Atheist: Would you like to try our Caramel Cinnamon Tea with whip cream and pine nuts?
Me: Nope… just an espresso.
Atheist: We have a special offer, Caramel Cinnamon Tea with a half eaten almond donut.
Me: Nope… just an espresso.
Atheist: It’s very tasty… We can make you a Caramel Cinnamon Tea with three pumps of vanilla ice shaken.
Me: Nope… just an espresso.
Atheist: Inside the blender we put the half eaten almond donut and mix it with the caramel, cinnamon, vanilla and whip cream.
Me: Espresso?

A simple order of an espresso in the morning is extended into a ridiculously long banter about the million different variations of beans and water that they offer. They ask you if you want to add several layers of caramel, chocolate, vanilla, coconuts and almonds. After the exhaustive repetitions of the word no, no, no… They attempt to sell you yet another drink which has absolutely no correlation to your intended order. You want an espresso? Then how about you try our frozen cinnamon mango shake with a crushed snickers bar. By the time your order is complete, your constant begging for an espresso has evolved into a seven shot caramel affogato accompanied by a chicken quiche.

While you are left clenching your numbered receipt for an unwanted order… you are surrounded by two types of people; the ditsy mithajbas wrapped in their skin tight leopard body suits looking at you as if you stole the last of the empty yogurt cups and the prepubescent teenagers, under the impression that the corner couch resides in their personal living room as they send each other IM messages. After your order number is screamed out, and you retrieve a burnt latte… It dawns upon you that sitting inside might not be the best choice… As you move outdoors to sit beside the chain-smoking students of Kuwait’s academia staring aimlessly into a translated book about The Secret .. your realize this wasn’t the experience you were looking for.

The experience of a hip coffeehouse playing Norah Jones with the upcoming writers crafting their creations is dead and gone (if it ever existed). The allure of a chic central perk faded long ago when they started using darts to target the last three buildings to place an emblazoned green twin-tailed siren. To which you are left pondering? What brings me back to this god forsaken place? it isn’t the coffee or the atmosphere … As you make your way to your car realizing that the lack of an answer won’t stop you from coming back the next day and attempting to order an espresso.

Apparently we got listed in Abwab magazine because Marzouq has connections. I’d like to thank the Academy, God for giving me so much that I do not deserve. … My friends, my family. Fans, thank you. God bless you. And, of course, the person that started it all. … I would not be here if it weren’t for Nibaq.

Link: Z district

Keeping aside the cliché jokes about Lions running around Kuwait and gasoline costing next to nothing; The main correlation between my/our lives and I am Legend, is that the vampires in the movie are very akin to our current generation of misunderstood youths… the ‘others’. Aside from the obvious behaviors traits: the constant roaming (with no real goal), the ‘interesting’ hair styles and the need to invade public settings in droves when the sun sets. The ‘others’ also follow the same lack of purpose in life; as anyone has yet to see them shopping, eating or enjoying the endless pleasures of our just as endless malls. This leaves the majority of ‘normal’ outings severely limited to avoid the nuisance of the ‘others’.

Although… it is true, as ‘normal’ people, we get our Friday mornings, our bouts of shopping before noon and the strands of the day left for coffee after a quick lunch… However, as soon we begin to see the dusk, we find ourselves scurrying off to our homes, diwaniyas and secluded restaurants to escape the hordes of ‘others’ after the sun has set. The constant beeping of a wristwatch in the movie is a reminder to return home before the city becomes overrun with vampires. Many a times we have thought silently… Quickly, its 4.30… If we don’t leave now, they will catch us at the one of three parking exits of the Avenues and we will be stuck here all night listening to ‘dagnee’ from the once working speakers of a rusted Mustang.

Which led me to think… how can we resolve the issues with the ‘others’, as we do not have the pleasure of Will Smith scouring or streets for a cure. To which it dawned upon me, and for the sake of purchasing a pair of jeans before you go on a vacation or the occasional movie out; I suggest a truce with the ‘others’.

An initial draft of the requests:

1. The ‘others’ can have all hair salons between noon and 5pm (except for Fridays) to create your hairstyles.
2. The ‘normal’ people each have alternating days at the shopping malls of Kuwait; the schedule jumps betweens malls weekly.
3. If a woman has any form of glitter on themselves, they are fair game for harassing. This goes double for any variation of the Hijab which contains the remnants of a Pringles can.
4. No screaming, shouting, talking or lasers allowed at the Movie Theater; a discussion panel will be held afterwards to explain the storyline for confused viewers.
5. The ‘others’ will abide to proper spelling of stickers and sentences, a service will be provided to fix common mistakes. If they are not capable of forming a sentence, they will be given a list of suggestive terms (Bob Marley, Tupac) to choose from.

What would be your additions to the list of requests?

I am contemplating missing work tomorrow in the interest of fixing my mental schedule; Either that or I need to find a constant from two days in the future.

Have you gotten your loved one a Shani today?

Firstly, I would like to thank you for canceling all of my NBK credit cards without prior notification or warning. This was especially amusing to the retail stores to which I attempted to use my credit cards. Regrettably, I was in Kuwait while my cards were canceled, if I were traveling it would have been much more entertaining.

Secondly, I would like to show my appreciation for giving me the opportunity to evaluate the other banks in Kuwait. As I have had a NBK bank account for several years; I was not aware of the superior services at other Kuwaiti Banks; especially those who care about their end customers.

And finally, please refund the 100 KWD visa subscription charge to my new bank account at Al-Ahli Bank.

xxx-xxxxx-xxx

Kind Regards,
-K.

P.S.  Please inform your Hala Watani staff why the Credit Cards were canceled; as they are currently unaware of the cause (like myself).

However, the latter tends to encompass our lives and requires us to intervene every few months when our local peacemakers are too busy fighting between themselves to run our country.

Based on the recent ramblings in the Diwaniya’s of Kuwait… The current issue in the ‘Umma’ is the grilling of Nouriya Al-Sebih by Tribal MPs. Apparently; the MPs feel that she isn’t doing a bang up job with our immaculate educational system. And this is supported by evidence that students (gasp!) are intermingling in private schools, in turn are causing all sorts of havoc on our society.

So, you ask, how do they plan on showing that the educational system (in the couple months she has run it) has faltered in the past few months?

In between hours of unnecessary speeches they are going to show private videos and pictures of (College/High School) students participating (again, gasp!) in afterschool events.

Now, there are a few things (off the top of my head) that I find disconcerting (for lack of a better word).

1. They are not presenting any real solutions to our educational system.
2. The videos have absolutely nothing to do with our ‘pristine’ educational system or how it’s being run.
3. Private videos are private… They should not be used in any public form (and especially not in Parliament for personal gains).
4. If the parents do not want their children to participate in such events, either forbid them from going or put them in other schools.

They are not going to discuss any real matters like educational goals, lack of capable teachers, low high school graduates, or availability of higher level facilities (as she has only been in charge for a few months).

I might be going off on a tangent here, but I think the real reasons behind the grilling could be the firing of useless staff members and her being the only non-covered women in Parliament. And coming from the same group of people who didn’t want women in Parliament to begin with… It’s to be expected.

I actually find it quite appalling and ironic that when we get someone with the capability to fix our educational mess (or realistically any mess); they are being harassed by people who don’t bring any real value to the government (or common good). A message to members of Parliament… You have been chosen to lead our country; leave your internal arguments, bickering and personal vendettas at home … keep the grillings for the crooks and liars.

I am beginning to freeze, still waiting for the first person of the season.

It has been over 72 hours since the start of GulfRun; After a couple days of lost sleep, several missed meals and over 15 hours at Saudi Border* .. We have finally reached Bahrain.

It been a long few days but in less than 10 hours we will be on the track .. and thats worth every sleepless night.

GulfRun

I am not a man of few words .. but episode 7 (season 2) of heroes has left me speechless.

Excuse me while I watch it again.